5 Steps to a To Do List that Gets Done

July 26, 2010 By

Photo by robandstephanielevy on Flickr

Photo by robandstephanielevy on Flickr

I read recently that “Saying you don’t have time for something is the same as saying ‘I don’t want to’ do it.” I fought that for a minute, because it stung. Of COURSE I want to do [all the things I haven't had time to do]. When I thought about it a little more, and forced myself to be honest, I found that there might be a bit of truth in it.

What about you? Try this little thought exercise and see where it leads you.

1. Make a list of 5 things you had time for this week

Not the list of small chores you don’t think twice about and not your job, but those [almost] every day activities lasting 30 minutes or more. For me, that list was:

  • Watching 1-2 hours of TV with my family
  • Reading blog posts from emails, RSS and Twitter links
  • Writing responses on a membership bulletin board
  • Shopping for and cooking meals
  • Tweaking this site (design and features)

2. Make your case

Are there any activities that don’t help you advance toward your main goals? If so, make a case for why it’s important to do them. Some of my excuses responses were:

  • I need to spend time with my family
  • Reading other blog posts inspires me to write my own
  • Being part of a community makes me feel happy
  • We have to eat
  • My site has to appeal to readers

3. Go deeper

Ask yourself some questions about each activity and excuse response:

  • Is my response true?
  • Do I spend more time than needed on this?
  • If I stopped doing this, how would it change my life?
  • Is what I want/need to do more important than this?
  • Can I be more disciplined or efficient with this?

4. Are any of these covering up fear?

What we say we don’t have time for is often something that we’re afraid of doing or (more accurately) afraid of doing poorly. I spend a lot more time than truly necessary reading other blogs and tweaking my site design. Why? Partly because I truly enjoy it, but partly because it relieves my anxiety about coming up with a topic of my own to write about.

Be ruthless about this part, because this exercise is only beneficial if you are completely honest with yourself.

5. Fish or cut bait

Now that you’ve examined each activity and its true value to you, compare it with the things you want to do and make some decisions. Are you going to give an activity up in favor of another one? Reduce time spent in one area so you can fit the things you want to do in? Or, when you really think about it, are you truly happy just doing what you are doing?

If you decide to keep doing the things on your activity list, do yourself a favor and put the things you “want” to do on hold for a while. Commit yourself to the activities you are doing so you can enjoy them completely. Put a reminder date on your calendar for 3 months or 6 months to run through this exercise again. Your answers might be different, in which case it might be time for a change. Until then, deliberately push it out of your mind.

Guilt and “should”s can drive you crazy and waste a lot of energy. Take a few minutes to get to the truth about what you really want, and then allow yourself to have it.

Your Turn

What activities came up on your list? Which were more important or more scary than you thought? Did you change anything as a result of this exercise? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Filed Under: This and That

5 Ways Your MBTI Personality Type Results Can Help You

July 20, 2010 By

Photo by jakeprzespo on Flickr

Photo by jakeprzespo on Flickr

Do you struggle with using the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) as an assessment tool for figuring out your personality type? Do you think it’s a bunch of hype, or that it will box you into a role or persona, or that it will predict your success in life?

Here are some benefits of the MBTI assessment to consider:

1. When it’s used correctly, you get a description of all the types – not just your own

When you take a free quiz online or from a book, you are alone in assessing your own results and interpreting how others might score. When you take an MBTI assessment from a certified Myers Briggs professional, a key element of the assessment is an explanation of each preference spectrum. This explanation provides many “Aha!” moments – not only in understanding yourself, but in recognizing how the preferences might explain the behaviors of other people in your life.

2. You get confirmation that you aren’t alone in how you act and react

If you grew up in a family with types very different from yours, you might feel as if every behavior that feels natural to you is wrong. This often happens with children who have strong Perceiving (flexible) preferences growing up in a family with strong Judging (organized) preferences. If you are strong on the Perceiving scale, you might have received messages that you’re a complete flake, or that people can’t take you seriously, or that you are too scattered. If nothing else, the type report assures you that you are completely normal and, what’s more, there are millions of people in the world who share your flexible nature!

3. You get an objective framework for viewing people in your life

Do you have a co-worker who nitpicks every new idea or whose first reaction is to say why it won’t work? “We’ve tried that before, and it didn’t work because …” or “That isn’t the way we do things around here” or “You can’t just …” might be phrases that appear often in meetings with your team.

Instead of reacting personally, with type knowledge you can recognize the traditional, conservative tendency of a teammate with strong Sensing (focused on what is or was, and what can be proven real through the senses) and Judging (organized and structured) traits. Once you recognize the pattern of a Gold, you can begin to understand that they aren’t trying to squash your ideas. They merely want reassurance that the direction you’re suggesting has a rock-solid foundation and can be trusted. This makes working with those who have opposite personality traits much easier.

4. You begin to understand why some activities drain you and some energize you

You might be very confused at your tendency to get depressed or come home drained when you’ve been working at your desk all day. Why would that be? Don’t most people around you talk about getting more energy after coming in on a Saturday because they can get so much more done and get energized again? Does it make you feel like there’s something wrong with you?

There isn’t anything wrong. You are likely an Extravert who gets energized by interacting with people or situations in the outside world. They are likely Introverts who gather energy from time spent reflecting and thinking. Neither is better, it’s just that the types differ in how they refuel.

5. You can use your personality preferences as a guide to finding your strengths

As you read through your assessment results and discuss them with your certified Myers Briggs consultant, jot down those sentences that spark a realization of “Yes! People are always saying that about me” or “Oh, that’s funny. My boss just congratulated me last week on that trait.” Go through each trait that your assessment suggests, and list them along with examples from your life that relate to that natural talent or trait.

Maybe you prefer iNtuition (looking toward the future and what could be) and Feeling (making decisions based on your own idea of what’s “right” and how others will be affected). You notice during the assessment that some of the other traits of your reported type are the ability to constantly produce new ideas and the ability to motivate others. Suddenly you remember how your coworker vented to you yesterday. Today she said that having you listen, be encouraging, and offer several alternatives really helped her break through a challenge.

With a little thought, you can work that into a strength statement that you can weave into job interviews and talks with your boss. Suddenly, you find that you are earning a reputation for doing those things well. Best of all, they are activities that you love and that come to you naturally. Eureka! Suddenly, your life feels much more enjoyable.

Your Turn

Learning about type, your own and others, can be of enormous benefit in helping you build a life you love. If you want to take the Myers Briggs assessment and find your strengths, I am certified to offer and interpret the assessment. Just contact me to get started.

Have you taken the MBTI? If not, why not? If so, how did it help you? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Filed Under: Finding Passion, Personality

Personality Type and the Selective Attention Test

July 15, 2010 By

I read a Myers Briggs personality type article on Careers in Theory and it led me to a neat test on YouTube called the Selective Attention Test. Watch the video and see if you come up with the right answer. It only takes two minutes. I’ll wait:

I couldn’t believe it, so I asked my husband to take it. I was certain he would be surprised, too, but he got everything during his first viewing. How is that? This is the man who gets so focused on a task that it takes him a full 30 seconds to register anything else that happens in the room. I’m an Extravert with an off-the-scale Perceiving preference, which means I focus on the outside world and am very reactive to new things. How could I miss something so obvious? My husband is an ISTP and my complete personality type opposite, so I would think that if I didn’t catch something like that he certainly wouldn’t. It mystified me.

Forcing yourself to perform in an area of weakness can have odd consequences

I finally came up with a theory that makes sense to me. One of my weaknesses is that it’s very easy for me to get distracted. It’s practically impossible for me to concentrate on one solid effort for a long time – unless it’s using a strength, like public speaking. I was determined to get the right count, so I worked VERY HARD to focus on the video. I was so busy with overcoming a weakness that I overlooked something obvious which I never would have missed if I had been acting naturally.

Since my husband finds it easy to concentrate for a long time on one task, focusing on the video for two minutes was no challenge at all. Therefore, his could use more of his attention on everything going on.

Your Turn

Did you get the right answer? Did you miss the obvious? What’s your personality type? Tell me in the comments.

P.S. You can learn more about the video at this link (but don’t go until you’ve watched the video!).

Filed Under: Personality, This and That

The Engage Your Strengths Google Search Story Video

July 13, 2010 By

One of the benefits of insomnia is that when you wake up at 4am, you have a couple of hours to surf Twitter and RSS feeds before getting ready for work. This morning, I came across an article about creating a Google Search Story. I watched some of the examples on YouTube and then decided to create my own.

Here’s the Google Search Story I made for Engage Your Strengths:

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Filed Under: This and That

Turning Passion into a Strength

July 12, 2010 By

Photo by jcoterhals on Flickr

Photo by jcoterhals on Flickr

Yesterday I commented on a post by David Siteman Garland about why blogging on a subject you are passionate about trumps blogging on a subject you are skilled in. After I commented, I realized that those of you who read this blog might be interested in a more detailed answer.

We’ve heard over and over again, from Marsha Sinetar to Gary Vaynerchuk to Marcus Buckingham, that working in your area of passion will bring you personal fulfillment (and often fame and fortune as well).

Some people have a tough time with that, thinking it’s a Utopian fantasy. However, you have the power to live in a Utopian world of strengths if you do three key things: feel passion, take action and claim your strength.

Feel Passion

Passion is a starting point, not a strength. Finding out what drives you is an essential step in developing your strengths. Many are lost when it comes to identifying what they are passionate about, and its no wonder considering that most of us live in a culture that over emphasizes the intellect and dismisses emotions.

Did you know that people with brain injuries that have lost the ability to feel emotion cannot make decisions? In the video below, scientist Antonio Damasio talks about his work with patients who have suffered brain injuries. Though they can process data, they cannot make even simple decisions without the use of emotion.

If you are struggling with finding your passion, the key is opening yourself up to emotion again. What makes you feel happy? Excited? Involved? These feelings are all keys to finding your passion.

Take Action

Once you find your passion, what do you do about it? Most people dream about it, study it and talk about it. Then they complain that they aren’t seeing any results and they just KNEW that “do what you love and the money will follow” was a myth. But what did they do?

Do is a verb. It requires action, real action. Speak in public about your passion. Start a blog. Write a book. Create a product. If you want more ideas for taking action in your area of passion, get the book Career Renegade by Jonathan Fields. It guides you through several types of thinking exercises that will prompt you to think of some amazing opportunities. The trick is to select one and follow through on it.

Claim Your Strength

Once you’ve taken action and have built up your experience and some success, you are ready to claim your strength. Start thinking of yourself as an expert in the field. Communicate that expertise. Look for opportunities to build your credibility by reaching out to people who haven’t heard of your work. Refer back to the work that has built your reputation so that you capitalize on the action you’ve taken to date. Make your strength the focus of your 30 second elevator speech.

When you claim something, it becomes a part of you. You own it. You have confidence. These traits inspire confidence in others, and the people you talk to will open doors you never imagined.

Your Turn

Do you have a passion you’ve turned into a strength? Are you stuck at identifying your passion? Not sure how to take action? Write a comment, and let’s talk about it!

Filed Under: Developing Strengths, Ideas

Fail 9 Times. Get Up 10.

June 29, 2010 By

Ocean Wave

Photo by gustty on Flickr

The beach is fun, right? You languish in the sun, read a good book, play in the waves.

Then when you turn your back to the water, a huge wave comes along and whallops you from behind and suddenly you’re spitting sand.

Oh sure, it’s funny when you watch it happen to someone else. It’s embarrassing as hell when it happens to you.

Doing something new is like that.

I’ve been trying to blog regularly on this site for the past six months. It’s still rough going. And I haven’t figured out exactly why. I love talking to people, sharing ideas, encouraging and motivating others. I thought this site would give me the chance to interact with more people and the stimulation would naturally lead to me generating lots of content. The first part happened (thank you Catherine, LaVonne, SusanJ, and all the others who made me leap around the room with joy when you commented on a post). The second part, not so much. At least, not yet.

I’ve struggled a lot over the past month with a few issues, and here are some thoughts that are helping me get back up, dust myself off and get back in the game. If you ever hit a road block, these questions might be helpful to you too.

How can you plug energy drains or get more energy?

Is something draining you? If so, can you take care of an issue that is an energy drain so it will stop dragging you down? Can you at least lessen the impact on your emotional or physical energy?

Likewise, is there something you can do to boost your energy? Can you get more sleep? Spend more time alone? Spend more time with others? This is where knowledge of personality type can help. Specifically, knowing whether you naturally focus on external stimuli or internal processing will help you when you realize you are down in the dumps and need a life but don’t know what to do.

If you are an extravert like me, you probably will gain energy if you interact with people. I don’t mean going to a crowded event or walking the mall. I’m talking about spending time with people you know and enjoy. If you are an introvert like some of my closest friends, you will probably gain energy from building some time into your schedule to reflect and think or take a walk in nature.

I’m also taking a look at what I eat and trying to eat a plant-based diet. I’ve fallen off the wagon so often in the past two years with this that I hesitate to mention it, but it’s worth trying again. You’ll hear more about this in upcoming posts.

Are you paying more attention to what you believe or what others believe?

Who thought someone could make a whole TV show out of picking junk out of people’s garages? Who believed a free website that asked for volunteer contributions could put make Encyclopedias obsolete? Who stood behind a dog lover from Mexico who dreamed of providing a refuge for unwanted dogs and helping Americans understand their pets?

If you are passionate about a cause and you believe it will help people solve problems, who’s to say it won’t work? There are lots of people in this world who are risk averse. They will caution you against doing things that aren’t the norm. You can learn from their stories about their experiences, but if you let those stories spook you into quitting you will lose any ground you’ve gained.

The only guaranteed way to fail is to take no action. Take one small step. Then take another.

Are you enjoying the process, or enduring it just to reach the goal?

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has written a lot about a state he calls flow and how important it is to enjoy the process, not just the expectation of the end result.

I’m currently reading his book Good Business, and I’m thinking about what I actually enjoy doing and how to do more of it.

I love speaking to groups. That’s my favorite thing to do in the whole world, and I get a rush every time. I haven’t been doing any public speaking. None. Not even at my Toastmasters club. It’s time to change that.

Do what you love. If you hope to succeed, make sure you love what you are doing.

Your turn

Have you hit a road block before? How did you get through it? Tell me in the comments.

Filed Under: Ideas

Does Your Need for Instant Gratification Kill Your Progress?

May 24, 2010 By

Speed Limit Sign

Photo by wetsun on Flickr

I hate to put things off.

Oh, not things that I’m scared to do or hate doing – those I can put off for weeks and weeks. But things that I really, really want are tough to put aside. I am the queen of instant gratification. This works to my advantage when I can reach the goal in the near term, or at least see how I can make progress on it in the near term.

But I’m not here to talk about the easy times. I’m here to talk about the times that the need for instant gratification threatens to kill my progress, because I believe you can relate. And because going through it together might help both of us out.

Making Progress

For the past four years I’ve been figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. I changed jobs to have more interaction with people because that’s what I love. I found myself more fulfilled. I joined Toastmasters because I’ve always enjoyed speaking in front of people and thought I’d build my skills, and for the past three years I’ve served as a club officer and have earned speaking and leadership credentials. I found myself happier. I changed my role at work to one that required facilitation, mediation, and coaching skills. I found myself joyful. Each step along the path has helped me grow, and now I want to become a certified coach. Suddenly, progress has stopped.

Today’s Block

I have a chance to apply for a coaching certification at a major university, and I’m stalling out. It’s not because I don’t want it. On the contrary, I long to learn more about coaching. Susan at The Hearts Voice wrote a post recently about longing and stated, “And in our instant gratification culture we often bury it [our longing], thinking that it’s too painful to want what we can’t just go out and get.” Light bulb. I think that’s my block, or at least part of it.

Building coaching into a strength demands more than raw talent. It requires experience. It requires skill. And, for me, that means credentials. It also requires time, which means I have to put other things on hold that I really want. And that is painful. Just like anyone else, I have a limited supply of energy (though I hate to admit it, even to myself).

The Lure of Spinning Plates

I also have an addiction to spinning plates. As in, if I’m not screamingly busy between 10 different objectives at the same time, I feel as if I’m not accomplishing enough. But running in between plates to keep them all spinning burns a lot of energy. I could better spend that energy keeping two or three plates spinning.

I want to build a business coaching people in finding meaningful work, using their strengths, and helping others (their employees, students, etc) develop their strengths as well. I’ve spent invested several months now in learning how to build that online business. It’s so close that I can taste it. But doors are opening at work also, giving me opportunity to use my coaching talent in the corporate world. I can’t start a business while investing my energy and time in certification, building experience, and changing my role at work. Something will have to give. Realizing that is the painful part, but even more difficult is choosing the plates to keep spinning.

Making a Commitment

This weekend I spent a lot of time figuring it out. I need one more year before I launch a true business in this. One year to:

  • Become a certified coach
  • Build experience in coaching
  • Continue to build my writing and speaking skills

Luckily, this blog is part of that. Hopefully, I can continue to provide value to those of you who read this as I continue to grow, learn and develop. I consider this a battle in mastering my craving for instant gratification. I hope to win the war.

Filed Under: Ideas

Give Yourself a Raise

May 18, 2010 By

Money

Photo by quazie on Flickr

An Adult Talk

My first-grade son and I had a discussion tonight that shifted his view of the world. We’ve been having more and more “grown up discussions” in the past year, and tonight we talked about how even his father and I have to make decisions sometimes about what we want to spend money on. I compared it to him wanting a toy that cost more than his allowance, and how he could either decide to save for it or ask us to do more chores around his house to increase his allowance.

His eyes got wide. “You mean if I decide to do more chores I can get a bigger allowance?”

“Yes,” I said, “as long as you figure out how you think you could help and we agree that it’s valuable.”

Big pause.

“Wow!”

I don’t think our lives will ever be the same.

And really, it’s the same for all of us who work in the corporate world. How many people do you know who complain about how their yearly raise doesn’t even keep up with the rising costs of health care? Who lament about how terrible it is that the economy has tanked and companies only give 2-3 percent raises these days (and that’s if you are lucky)? Who gripe about their salary yet do what’s asked of them day after day instead of offering more?

I don’t think it occurs to many of us cubicle dwellers that we are all entrepreneurs in today’s economy. That our employers are just our biggest clients at this time, but they might not always be. That if you find ways to contribute more than you are asked to deliver, you will become invaluable and they will have to pay you more.

Today’s Strength Training Challenge

Change your mindset: You now determine your own salary. Look up, away from your problems in the trenches and toward the problems that your bosses are trying to solve. How can you help? How can you get involved? How can you make a difference? Put some thought into it, and suggest ways that you can contribute to their success.

If you deliver on your ideas, do you think they will increase your allowance? Make your contribution so strong that the only logical answer is “Yes.”

Filed Under: Ideas

Beware the Distraction of the Bright Shiny Penny

May 16, 2010 By

penny

Photo by skitzitilby on Flickr

Do you sometimes feel like you are running around like a crazy person trying to get everything done, only to accomplish nothing at the end of the day because of distractions? This morning I was cooking biscuits for breakfast. They were almost finished, but needed one more minute. I turned off the oven but left the biscuits in to finish browning and went to my computer to check one thing in my email box. Three minutes later I jerked my eyes off the blog post rant I was reading about Facebook and looked at the oven in horror. I have completely forgotten to take the biscuits out! And the scary thing was that I could have gone on reading for another 10-20 minutes.

Luckily, the biscuits weren’t burned since I had turned the oven off, but the episode reminded me that there are dangers in running from bright shiny penny to bright shiny penny down the path of life. If you are anything like me, you start off the day with great intentions, get distracted by events during your day as you run around to get things done, then end up feeling you’ve accomplished nothing. In the interest of sharing what I am in the process of learning, here are some questions to ask yourself when you are trying to accomplish a task and something threatens to change your trajectory:

Is this a bigger priority than what I was doing?

The distraction might be fun, urgent, or have an impatient person attached to it, but if it isn’t as important as the task at hand then you need to save it for later. Jot it down on a notepad, send yourself an email with the reminder, call your other phone and leave a voice mail. Somehow, find a way to add it to your collection of things to think about later.

If I allow myself to get distracted now, how do I make sure I come back to what I’m doing?

Your reminder might be setting a timer, putting a rubber band around your wrist (you’ll notice it later, I promise) or leaving a big yellow sticky note in a prominent place for when you return. The trick is to find something that will get you back on track when you can focus again on your task.

How much energy or time will reacting to this take?

In the process of chasing every new idea that comes along, you’ll burn off a lot of energy. Is that energy better spent heading toward a specific goal today? If not, enjoy running after your pennies and have a great time doing it. But if following it will take so much energy or time that you can’t accomplish your task today, you need to remind yourself to stay on target.

Today’s Strength Training Challenge

Identify one thing you will accomplish today. You can do more if you wish, but make sure to finish one small piece of meaningful work. If you finish one task that is important and will lead toward a larger priority or goal, you will end each day with a sense of purpose and accomplishment. And you won’t find yourself eating burned biscuits.

Filed Under: Action Steps, Ideas

What Problems Do You Solve?

May 13, 2010 By

Photo by martinofranchi on Flickr

It’s a tough question, but asking yourself what problems you are solving for your company, customers or team is at the root of doing meaningful work. If you can’t answer it, you are not alone. I’ve asked this when coaching people and some look at me with a “deer in the headlights” gaze for a full 30 seconds before stuttering out, “Uh … well … I’m not sure.” Others take a minute to think and then blurt, “Not the types of problems I want to be solving.” Worse, occasionally I get someone who responds, “I don’t think I do solve any problems.” Any of these responses are a problem, but one that can be resolved with a little introspection. Let’s take them one by one.

“I’m not sure what problem I’m solving.”

If this is your answer, you might not have thought of your work in these terms before. You might be of the “ours is not to question why” philosophy, which either means that you are simply doing what you are told or that you are concentrating on the tasks at hand but not the ultimate purpose of those tasks.

If you are doing what you are told, you might be new to your job or company. In that case, starting out without knowing the problems you are solving with your work can be okay for a little bit. As soon as you can, however, start to question your team lead or manager about the impacts of your work. Is developing that website helping the client start a business in a new area of expertise? Or is it replacing a process that used to be done some other way? Knowing the problems you are helping to solve allows you to engage more fully with your work and to come up with new ideas for achieving that purpose quicker, more completely, or at a lower cost. Additionally, you will feel as if you are part of a larger picture and your work will take on new meaning. You will also learn quite a bit more about your company, clients or team when you discover what they are trying to achieve.

If you aren’t new to your position or company and you don’t know the answer, your time to ask those questions is now. Why? Knowing the problems you are solving ensures that your solutions will help resolve the problem. If you don’t know the purpose behind the work you are being asked to do, you can’t apply your own initiative and creativity to resolving it. This means that you aren’t contributing all that you can. You need to shine, and to do that you need to understand the need so you can fulfill it.

“Not the types of problems I want to be solving.”

This answer points directly to a mismatch between you and your role or between you and the type of work you are doing. If you are in the wrong role (look into Belbin team roles for more info), you will feel as if you are not able to be authentic in your work. If you are expected to lead the team but you hate conflict and you just want everyone to get along, you might be better off using your natural skills of mediation and community-building to shape the team into a tighter working group. In an opposite situation, if you are constantly butting heads with others on the team (or even your team lead – yikes!) about how things “should be done” you might be cast in the role of follower when your natural strengths are leadership and your commanding presence. Recognizing that the role you’re being asked to fill goes against your authentic tendencies is the first step in changing your situation. The second is learning how to communicate your authentic style, and the third is figuring out how you can change your role to one that suits you better.

If the role you occupy on the team fits you but you still feel unfulfilled in your work, you are probably doing the wrong type of work. Do you love working with tangible problems and objects, but feel pressured to focus on concepts and ideas instead? Do you love initiating new projects and getting things started, but find yourself being asked to create repeatable processes that can be applied over and over again? Are you naturally drawn to people, but expected to work on systems or tools? These are the questions that will help you determine the work that will seem meaningful to you and will help you find the work you were meant to do.

“I don’t think I do solve any problems.”

If this is your response, you are likely developing a solution for a problem that either doesn’t exist or isn’t a high priority. This can easily happen when you have a new idea to do something and you get so wrapped up in it that you haven’t taken the time to think through who will use it or how. In the small Texas town where I grew up, they called this “fixing what ain’t broke.” You might want to change a process to be more efficient, but if your changes don’t save a lot of time or money they will not be adopted and you will be spinning your wheels on creating a solution without a problem.

Today’s Strength Building Challenge

Take a few minutes during work today to identify the problem you are solving with the work you do. If you can’t come up with one, keep asking questions until you get an answer. Yes, it takes time – but it’s time well spent.

Filed Under: Action Steps, Developing Strengths
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