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Is the Work You Love Already in the Job You Have?

March 21, 2010 By

jumping with joy

Photo by bingramos


Do you have a good job and a decent salary, but feel dissatisfied and in need of a career change? Do you dream of breaking out of your current job to do the work you love? Do you already have a sideline business – or desperately want to start one? If so, this will soon be your website of choice for ideas, tools and action plans to help you find the work you love while still supporting yourself in the job you have.

Why I Started this Site

I had a conversation with a coworker this week that helped me fine tune my ideas for this website into a laser beam directed at those of you who say “Yes” to the questions above. I started this blog because I had been going through the above dilemmas. To some degree, I still am. I’ve made some headway and I wanted to share what I’ve learned with others about career change, finding your strengths, and doing work you love. That’s what started this, that’s the core reason.

What I found was a lot of information about how to quit your job and become successful doing something else. A few people make an instant career change and find success. Some do it and fail, and it destroys their hope to the point that they don’t ever dare to try again. Many more people never try at all, because they have an all or nothing mentality. They believe something like, “I want to do [my passion] but I can’t give up my job because [it pays the bills, my spouse would kill me, my parents would disown me, etc, etc, etc].” Some people discover that the work they love was theirs for the taking all along, even in the job they already have.

This blog is for everyone who wants to make a change, and it will talk you through how to transition – in big ways, in little incremental ways, in ways that work for you.

My Goal

I want to help you find your strengths, develop your talents, and communicate what you bring to the table that makes you unique. For some, that’s a long process and it needs to happen gradually. That’s okay – there are many people that are going down the same path. Others already know the career change for them, they just need someone to cheer them to victory. Some don’t have any idea where to start, which is where I was not too long ago.

It’s so important for you to find your spark, your motivation, your joy. Life is too short to feel depressed, anxious, and drained all the time. Or worse, to not know how you feel – a topic I plan to address this week. Hopefully, you will find some parts of this site that speak to you, inspire you, or make you think.

When I was going through it, I wasn’t sure where to start and I muddled my way through. Doing it that way takes longer. It’s a tougher fight. I needed to read or listen or talk with someone who had been there and could tell me what they learned and how. Not to be the master, the guru, the director of my life – but to be my friend through the process and share what they learned.

If I can do that for one person through this site, it will be worth it.

Your Turn

How can I help? Let me know in the comments.

Filed Under: Developing Strengths, Ideas

Are You the Boss People Hate?

March 18, 2010 By

grumpy person

Photo by photomishdan

What do your people say about you? Do they tell others how motivational you are? How you care about them, not just the bottom line? How you challenge them to do their best in their areas of strength?

No? What do you think they are saying about you, then? Hopefully, none of the following:

“My boss praises in private and criticizes in public.”

The first rule they teach in management training should be: Praise in public and critique in private. When you were new to management, they should have drilled it into you until you were mumbling it in your sleep.

Do you want your people to be creative? Take initiative? Act boldly? Then STOP embarrassing them in public by telling them what you think they did wrong in front of their peers (or worse, their direct reports)! First, you could be wrong – your opinion could be just that, and not fact. Second, that tentative suggestion that was way our of the box could have morphed into an award winning initiative with a little encouragement or praise for the part that was right. Third, if your people don’t admire your leadership style they will never learn from you. They won’t want to.

Instead, save the critique for when the two of you are alone. Didn’t we all watch “Bambi”? Remember Thumper’s rule: If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.” This one is simple. Perhaps not easy, but simple.

“My boss puts down every new suggestion I make.”

It’s far easier to edit a draft then to start something yourself. It’s second nature to point out how to improve an idea, make the plan better, implement it more effectively. The only problem is that if you jump to give “constructive criticism” for each new idea, your people will stop bringing them to you.

Instead, ask questions. You can express your doubts and introduce ideas just as easily by asking open ended questions. Open ended questions begin with who, what, when, where, how or why.

  • Who do you think would benefit the most from this?
  • What impacts do you think this would have on people or processes down the road?
  • When do you think we’d realize a gain from this?
  • Where do you see this working the best?
  • How do you mean?
  • Why do you think this will make a difference?

Stop making statements. Start asking questions. You’ll be amazed at how much you learn about the people you work with and their capabilities. And they will love you for being receptive.

“My boss acts way too harsh/soft for me.”

Interaction styles are different. You can pick up several clues to personality type by observing your people and their reactions. If you just can’t figure out someone at the office, learning about personality type might give you some insight.

If you like to take charge and lead (reds and Lions especially), you might intimidate those with a softer side (like greens and Retrievers).

If you are risk averse and like to plan everything before you take action (like some golds and Beavers do), you might be driving those on your team who live to get things going (like Otters) or enjoy exploring new ideas (like blues) crazy.

Many people don’t think about this, but if you are gentle and well meaning and in a leadership position it can be a problem too. Why? If you get along with everyone, strive to mediate conflict, and try to have everyone join in a group project and you are managing someone who is very driven, hard charging, or is fiercely independent – they are going to expect you to act in a much more directive way than your natural manner. Why? Because they expect to be led as they would lead, and that means giving direction instead of collaboratively working toward a common goal.

Leadership Styles

Am I suggesting you try to change your true nature based on your team profile? No, you wouldn’t be successful if you did that. Your success is based on using your strengths, and your personality type can be a guidepost to discovering them.

However, if you seek to understand what your team members expect from a leader and the actions that bring out the best in them, you will become the boss we all dream of having someday. You will become the leader that others choose to follow.

Your Turn

I could go on with more examples, but better yet … why don’t you? What would you love to tell your boss if you could? What feedback have you received from others? Please share in the comments!

Filed Under: Ideas, Personality

Should You Appear Naked on the Social Media Stage?

March 13, 2010 By

"nude woman"

Photo by perfectoinsecto

Alanis Morissette. Steve Pavlina. Catherine Caine. What do these three people have in common? They are all passionate people, and have all appeared to their audiences in the nude.

Emotional Nudity

The Google dictionary says: “Nudity is the state of wearing no clothing. It is related to the concept of modesty and is sometimes used to refer to wearing significantly less clothing than expected by the conventions of a particular culture and situation, and in particular exposing the bare skin or intimate parts.” But I’m not talking about appearing without clothes (except for Morissette). That’s only one definition of nudity. I’m talking about the immodest, unvarnished, intimate, shocking, often impromptu exposure of passion.

Alanis Morissete performed concerts in the nude (I think it was because she was passionate about a cause). Steve Pavlina, who I used to read religiously and promote to friends, starting blogging about his open marriage (and his subsequent divorce). And Catherine Caine recently went on a passionate rant about the lie of social media (the fallout from that emotional post inspired this one).

The Cocktail Party Level of Life

Social media is just a great big virtual cocktail party. There are those who chat about celebrities and TV events and movies and the daily news. There are those who retell the latest joke, talk about the latest books, and share insights about current events. There’s even “that guy” who tries to work the room, telling you about how his business would suit all your needs and handing out business cards with abandon.

When Social Media Becomes Meaningful

There comes a point, though, when we just get tired of the cocktail level of life. We want to connect, we want to share, we want to get personal. That’s when the true value of social media kicks in. Who knew that I would ever connect with someone in Australia who would motivate me and help me find my virtual voice? How else would I have ever learned lessons about using internet tools to connect with people from a guy in California? How else would I get daily inspiration from people around the world sharing ideas and insights on Twitter?

That doesn’t mean you get to run through the party with wild abandon, screaming expletives and calling people jerks. At least, not without the “What have I done?” moment of sobriety and the subsequent guilt and self-recrimination at the end of such a wild night. But that is when you find out who your true friends are – whether they are virtual or not. They call you on it, they tell you their side of the story … and then, once you’ve apologized, they forgive you and move on.

Should You Show Some Skin?

What should we, as bloggers and writers and speakers and tweeters, expose to our audiences? Should we just talk about the happy things, keeping ourselves so buttoned up and shielded that we expose nothing to our readers? Should we dare, from time to time, to post something slit from here to there (metaphorically speaking) and show a little more of our true selves than is proper? Or should we just let it all hang out and allow our audiences to shut their eyes or look the other way when they so choose?

There’s no universal answer, and that’s why the aftermath of Catherine’s post was so interesting to me. Her point was that the promise of social media makes us believe that we will be intimate friends with all who ask us to relate with them online. She felt betrayed by that promise, and spoke out about it. Many people agreed with her or echoed her thoughts in the comments (though none so graphically), but some of the people she called out by name were upset and hurt by her rant. Luckily, for her and the rest of the blogging community, Scott Stratten of Unmarketing was brave enough to call her on it and adult enough to make it a learning moment instead of a fight.

What is the “right” level of emotion for a blogger to display? How honest can they be? I think it depends on who they are trying to reach and why. If you are trying to drum up more business, then of course presenting yourself as a polished poised professional is your best bet (but please, don’t be “that guy”). If you are just trying to be more social and grow your network, then being chatty and positive and not too intrusive is probably your best bet. But if you are trying to inspire and motivate others or trying to change the world, you need to get real.

Get Naked, Get Real

In order to connect with people, online or not, you have to show some of your true nature. You have to expose some of yourself. You have to be brave enough to take a risk with your feelings. Without some willingness to open up, you are a bright shiny toy on a shelf to be admired – not a Velveteen Rabbit to share our daily lives with.

If your goal is to connect with people or share your passionate cause, don’t be afraid to be nude online. Say what’s on your mind. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake. Connect with others on something that really matters. Change the world – one naked moment at a time.

Your Turn

Do you have to get naked to make a difference? Tell me what you think in the comments!

Filed Under: Ideas